The meeting didn't go so well and I cried so very hard afterward. It was just as I had feared a 'make life decisions meeting' Should he take a sudden down turn should he be placed on life support, should we preform CPR, should he be placed on a respirator requiring intubation and possibly a trach? "It is good for us to have this conversation" I am told--NO--IT WAS NOT A GOOD CONVERSATION!!!!!!!!!!
I am told that this doctor is very very good and filled with compassion but he gives Gene about a 20% chance of recovery and a 20-30% chance of a sudden death.
I walked back to my room. I cried. I got up out of my bed of tears and sat at the table and began to pray and listen to the Lord. "This man does not know everything. He doesn't KNOW, he only tries to figure My ways. I know my ways, I number man's days" I repeat to myself--This man doesn't know...He doesn't know. He DOESN'T KNOW!
And I am encouraged.
Yesterday early things appeared as they had that horrible time on Monday, he spiked a fever, his blood pressure is out of control, he is not responding much. Pastor Rick came we prayed, we sang Great is Thy Faithfulness and You shall go out with joy; and Pastor read scripture the Lord had showed him to share. All the while Gene lay nearly naked on a ice blanket unresponsive with tubes everywhere top to bottom and I do mean top [staples in his scalp] to bottom; where they have a constant thermometer; to the bottom of his feet [where he wears a boot to keep his feet in proper alignment]. IV lines to his heart and in an artery of his wrist as well as two other IV lines and a tube through his nose to his stomach.
I walked Pastor and friend to the metro and returned to Gene's room and told him we were going to take him HOME--He opened his eyes! I sang this little song we learned when the children were little:
Heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and grace, I want to see my Savior's face, cause Heaven is a wonderful place. I cried while I sang it.
At 5:30pm he opened both his eyes and really truly recognized that I was there. He spoke his name....He spoke my name....He answered questions by squeezing my hand appropriately. He was asked again [as he has been asked 10 kabillion times] to show two fingers--He took my hand and isolated two of my fingers. Show 3 fingers... he changed my hand around to show three fingers of my hand to the nurse!
last night he had fever again but not as high, another CAT scan to check the status of the deep bleed
He is more responsive this morning I am told [I cannot see him until noon]
Are we out of the woods? --not by a long shot
Will he completely recover and be a healthy man again--pretty unlikely with the huge amount of metastasis of the cancer.
Was I blessed and am I thankful for that small gift to me last night from the Lord--oh YES!
Today holds a meeting of the whole team to make plans to get him home to our house if there is anyway possible. Several more things must happen in quick succession for that to be accomplished but those things can be done.
The meeting will be 1pm or 1:30 pm
At 12:15 I am going to lay hands on his abdomen and pray that the tumors ....be silenced. It is the opinion of the melanoma doctor that the tumors in his abdomen are speaking hormonally to the rest of his system and telling them lies and giving wrong instruction such as ..brain...swell; kidneys ...imbalance the electrolytes; temperature ...be erratic; gut ...shut down.
Join me as we pray [even if you pray a different time] tell those tumors to be silenced..in the name of Jesus!
And I will be thankful for the opportunity to pray and I will be thankful for this day. I CHOOSE to PRAISE my GOD AND KING and SAVIOR--I want to see my Savior's face cause Heaven is a wonderful place!!
I choose I choose I choose to be thankful and I am glad that I do!