Everyday we walk through what has to be done and we twiddle our thumbs some and we sit pretty bored some but we also grow in our walk with the Lord and we work through the emotional pressure of what is happening.
We cry sometimes at the weirdest times and sometimes several times a day and almost every time we pray.
Today somebody posted this video on Facebook and I cried. Gene had watched it earlier and he had cried too. I am going to add the link here because it so touched us. We really do get what God has done for each of us and we really really want to walk this walk bringing glory to Him. I am hopeful that by sharing the pain I am going through during this time in my life you will make choices to turn your eyes upon Jesus and you will trust him as I do now.
I was raised to be a good moral person and the bible was a good under girding to that moral life style. You were expected to do what was right but sometimes what was right was more my mother and grandmother's opinion than a biblical truth. A lot of what they thought was right was biblical but there was a lot more in the bible that they didn't teach me. Like my value to God...like the fact that I needed to not only believe in God but to turn the rulership of my life, my decisions and choices over to God. I don't think they understood those biblical concepts so they gave me what they knew.
When I went away to nursing school I met a gal in my class that knew something more about the bible. She understood how the book of common prayer had so much bible in it and how I loved that book but she shared with me how much more was in the bible that was not included in the book of common prayer from my childhood church experience of Episcopal membership.
A day came as I reflected on what I was hearing and I thought I would try something I had never done before. I prayed to a God I thought I was serving pretty well [I faithfully attended church because I wanted to, I taught Sunday School, and I treasured the experience of my confirmation preparation and the rituals of the Episcopal service] I prayed and asked God to come into my heart and take over and to show me something I had never known before....something I would know came from Him if He was truly a personal God that cared about me. I asked that prayer 7 times and soon after got up from my knees. Within minutes I experienced a very unusual thing! I suddenly had a most unfamiliar thought. I swirled it around in my brain for awhile and realized I had never thought that thought before, and it certainly was not one my mother, father or grandmother had ever taught me nor one my Sunday School teacher had ever said ....and I had perfect attendance for 7 years in a row! the thought was fairly simple but I assure you I could not EVER remember having thought it before......The bible is true. From beginning to end. Totally true. It was a while before I put it together as an answer to that prayer to show me something I that could only come from Him but that's what it was. I was convinced and I have NEVER forgotten and something I cling to today. Accepting the thought, I decided to read the bible--as least some of it. I chose of all things the book of Daniel and then Isaiah. Deep books I have now studied many times but currently I am reading Isaiah again! I am on a campaign to read the bible from cover to cover this year. Little could I have known what this year would bring....But I know God knew.
God changed my life completely and when I tell you the next episode of the True and the Real you will find out what God did that made it possible for me to love Gene and to receive his love. I NEVER could have done it without a miracle because I was a wounded child. But God changed all that.
See if this touches you too.
Here is what I am trying to say to you when I say I am thankful....... every.....day because I remember what was.