Monday, July 18, 2011

Wow....just wow.

Where much tribulation abound much glory abounds as well...wait while I look that reference and context up so that I make sure I get it right

Romans 5:3-5 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

The one I was thinking said that where tribulation abounds so does glory but it turns out that that reference is in Romans 5 also but it says that where there is much sin there is much grace.  Not what I was wanting to express. Verses 3-5 say better what I am thankful for tonight.

Today was a full day and one many people would easily be grateful for but it added a lot of taxing burden to our day.  Gene's dad wants very badly to do something for Gene, his way of expressing all the love in his heart and the wish that this disease was not a part of any of our lives.  He knows we drive final owner cars [currently a 97 Isuzu with 155,000+ miles and a 99 Taurus with well over 200,000 miles] and desires to help us purchase a reliable mode of transport for these Baltimore trips.  So in the midst of being diagnosed with a life threatening cancer AND squishy heart syndrome we have been given the instruction to find a car.  So much easier said than done.  Today we went with both Gene's parents to look at one possibility and then test drove another from Pittsville to Snow Hill for Dad to have a look see.  Both got voted down, but in between we had to see the local oncologist and that is enough to wipe us out without the car shopping!

It's not that we are not thankful, both for the car and the oncologist it is just that we are on overload of squishy heart syndrome and many people just do not see how exhausted we are mentally.  It feels like not another decision can be made and yet there is no time to breathe before the next one forces it's way into the line of fire.  It is decide or be shot!

Suddenly it occurred to me, this is why the body of Christ has been standing at the edge asking what they can do in addition to prayer which they have faithfully been joining us in for the last month and a half.

So tonight I am so thankful for .....
......Dad wanting so much to express his love
......Mom and her need to see that we have fresh corn on the cob that she personally squeezed a kernel to make sure it was juicy before she picked it from the stalk in the garden.
.....The oncologist who is willing to listen to the lead doctor and is offering to do whatever will be helpful and who wanted to talk about the birds and the turtles on the Nanticoke River running by his office windows...beautiful distraction!
.....The phone call from Christy who has been in my shoes and understands some of the pressures and who laughed with me when I said with all I am trying to balance right now I think I need a good wife!...she understood what I you?
......The fresh veggies from Barbi and Jamie
......The kindness of Bonnie and Cheryl reaching out to our children
.......The generosity of the Jeannine and Kevin and Hannah inviting Kate and Hunter for swim and game times
.......The sweetness of Hunter coming to tell me , "Mom, I saw a real smile on Kate's face tonight, I wanted to stay because she was having a good time."
......The dinner invitation from Rita and Steve to distract Gene from the doldrums of yesterday and today.  Despite the fact that Rita just had surgery herself and only came home from the hospital Saturday.
......The help to locate how to begin the process of converting my nursing license from inactive to active once again .
.......and the help to research and locate and purchase a new fridge that I have been poking around about that a friend took on as their task.
.......the hope that the new medicine for the nausea will be helpful and the reassurance from the oncologist that we can use both the old and the new if we need it.
.......the kindnesses of our children calling and offering whatever they can do to be helpful throughout their days.
.......The generosity of friends who are willing to come and help me bring order to our VERY messy bedroom where Mr. Save Everything Forever is now trying to be rested and comforted!  The two just do not go together.  And to my great relief squishy heart syndrome is currently winning over don't throw that away, thus I may be able to actually get our room into some order!  For 25 or the last 26 years we have lived where he slept in the daytime and I slept at night leaving little time to rearrange our bedroom piles!  and thus they have grown but more on his side!  THANKFUL for squishy heart!

Whew I am awed by  the sweet things happening and tired

and    Now I am off to bed.

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