I am just hours away from a full week since Gene arrived in heaven. How life has changed. How life remains the same. It is all very odd. I desire to do nothing but still must take care of business details. I want to eat nothing and yet eat too much. I am impatient with everything and everyone and yet want to give God glory in the midst of difficult days. I cry some, but no cry touches the depth of where I hurt. I choke some but then I usually have to perform some task so I must swallow it and move through. I do not want the month of August to ever end, I do not want it to be a different month but I am not in control.
Today I had a breakthrough, we will see if it lasts. Here it is...Gene is with me...all the memories are there, all the events are there, all the laughter and hugs and kisses are a part of who I am. He is with me and yet I delight to know he is not with me on this earth but has transcended this place for the fulfillment of God's promises. I am thankful for that. Even rereading this makes the tears flow again and again.
I am honest and I am real and many of you have enjoyed or commented on how it touched you so now you get some of the raw hurt. I know there will be many bible lessons to gain from all this and I trust God to fulfill His words to me.
One thing to hang onto is that he showed me this walk nearly in its completion two years before it began. I am thankful He did not show me all but I can tell you this, He isn't finished yet so I am hangin' with Him.
This is different but the same but different from lots of hurts you have experienced. Can you join me in a trust walk with God?
Choosing ...........the thankful ...........every......day status