Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How can it be that.......a month has passed

One month ago I was awake for the night sitting in this same chair, typing at this same keyboard and alternately turning my full attention to Gene, seeing to his comfort and delighting in kissing his face, turning his body, stretching out to embrace him. singing the scripture to him that God had dropped in my heart over the last days.

Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion, and everlasting JOY shall be upon their heads!  They shall return with gladness and joy and sighing and sorrow shall flee away!

At first I couldn't choke the words out without gasping for the sorrow they brought.  The realization that Gene was going and that God was already promising that his sighing and his sorrow would flee away but I also knew that God had dropped that scripture in my heart for a reason.  I kept coming back and back and back to it singing it in the hotel, in the hallways of Johns Hopkins and in Gene's room to him.  It was a comfort.

and a second:

“For you will go out with joy 
And be led forth with 
mountains and the hills will break forth  before you, there'll be shouts of joy, And all the trees of the field will clap, 
will clap their hands.

How wonderful will that be I thought ...to go out with joy and be lead forth with peace......I sang that to him also and the day he entered heaven the mountains and the hills broke forth!  The first earthquake that I remember on the east coast!  [Was that really anything to do with Gene's passing....I don't really think so but it is a funny memory and one he would have enjoyed telling!]


My peace I give unto you, it's a peace that the world can not give, it's a peace that the world can not understand, my peace, I give unto you!

Now the comfort was being extended toward me in the days and hours of the earthly end.  Each song was a comfort and each had a message for both of us and the Lord went on pointing out things like....

The Lord is good,
      a strong refuge when trouble comes.
      He is close to those who trust in him.


 I will comfort those who mourn,
 bringing words of praise to their lips.
   May they have abundant peace, both near and far,”
      says the Lord, who heals them.

I purposely have left out the references and locations of these truths and teachings because they are so real, so true, so meaningful I don't want to get lost in their reference points.  When a loved one speaks to me I don't ask them to back that up with reference material at the time!  [But I can if you would like to know]

This was deep stuff, good stuff, tear-jerking stuff, healing stuff -- for me?, yes; for Gene? yes; for you?.....yes yes yes.

I am thankful everyday for His guidance and teaching of me.  How could a whole month have gone by already?....Because He is here and there and everywhere, guiding, protecting and loving me.  And Gene?...whether he is standing as part of the Lord's army or working at the apocalyptic stables or freely worshiping the Lord  he is having a WONDERFUL time...cause

heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and grace!


Anonymous said...

Oh, the Word of the Lord is rich! What an awesome mystery that He speaks to us through His Word!

Thank you for sharing this. It is most encouraging to know that God is ministering the comfort that ONLY He can give, even through the sorrow that is greater than you have ever known.

Love, Cheryl

Barbara said...

Thank you for sharing God's grace and guidance in your life. He is oh so faithful ! His great mercy and love always cause me to weep with joy !