Friday, February 24, 2012

How do I find my way back to blogging?

I have felt guilty for leaving the blogging and I am going to bring you back in and hopefully later share some of where my thoughts have been flitting around!  Just three weeks ago I wrote myself some notes that I would use in the blog when I next wrote.....

cold and hoary frost [early one morning I was out walking and really this was what I thought!]

purple crocus blossoms, daffodils buds, frosty fluffed robin red breast sitting in the bare tulip poplar tree

God made color just for me

sometimes you have to walk through the cold to see the beauty

When I was a child and teen and even as a young mother [okay now, too!] I loved to go to Longwood Gardens in the worst weather.  If it was cold and windy and icy or better yet sleeting, the stepping into the Conservatory building was just delightful.  Bright green grass, Christmas music playing, sometimes brass ensembles or string quartets playing, poinsettias in full bloom...could this be a sample of the difference between earth and heaven?  I know heaven is about my relationship with Christ and yet the bible is descriptive of the beauty we will see there.  We will walk out of this earthly life and into a beauty that outstrips Longwood in the winter or the dessert in bloom!  That's where my thoughts went that morning!  I don't know how you feel but I DO thank God as frequently as I remember for the simple fact of color.  I just love it.  Deep rich hues and pale pastels, oils and watercolors.  It's all good.  Gene and I went to Longwood on our 26 wedding anniversary immediately before we found he was sick....we had not an inkling at that moment.  He actually enjoyed the trip [though the newly opened historical buildings of the original duPont house was more interesting than picking his favorite orchid!]  We made plans to go again in the late spring and early fall.  I wrote down names of gardening /landscaping books from the gift shop [and after coming home bought them used super cheap from Amazon! --we laughed]

I am preparing to run away for some R&R.  I will fly to FL to visit cousins I have spoken to and seen on facebook but have not spent time with since my mother's funeral nearly 21 years ago.  I am looking forward to being with them but also to just sitting and not doing anything. [well maybe some household chores --but no financial business at all]  I have prepaid my bills and taken care of as much as I could before making my plane reservations.  I wonder if I can watch Dr Phil and Survivor without any guilt while I am away?

I will also fly to MS to meet Billy and Sharon for the first time.  I expect I'll cry more over there.  Gene was their best man in their wedding many years ago.  Sharon is planning to take me to the Gulf of Mexico in LA and I might not cry so much at that!

I hope to stain the raw wood in the kitchen make over before I go.

I am not in charge of home school baseball this year and that has consumed my springs for the last 7 years.  My that feels nice not to do.  Hope they have a wonderful season!

It has been 6 months since Gene escaped to heaven.  I practice what I preach about finding something to be thankful for each day.  Most days I am successful but it doesn't always hold me together all day long.  It really does help to blog it.

Want to go on the vacation with me??.......I will try to post about all the things you will miss but we will both find things to be thankful for!

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