Today would have been my mom's 84th birthday. She died 21 years ago and I am so glad she is timelessly rejoicing before the throne but I miss her. We had just a few years where we really worked on relationship building to overcome so much trauma in the early years. I am so glad she met and liked Gene and enjoyed Puller and Kate, but so sad she never met Hunter.
Tonight with these memories, and the stress of wind blowing ALL DAY LONG [it is my least well-tolerated weather issue] and everyone's statements that border on panic mixed with amazement over Hurricane Sandy and being cold all day long....well I lost it! My peace, my whatever and I certainly mislaid my thanksgiving.
So I will practice the lessons again:
I am thankful for frozen blueberries so I could surprise Kate and Hunter with Blueberry pancakes for supper.
I am thankful the power has stayed on all day.
I am thankful for my wordplay friends...very often those games distract me from my heart thoughts and those heart thoughts drag me away from thankfulness so the games helps
I am thankful I had a blood sugar of 129 once today...that is the closest I have had to normal in two years I think!
I am thankful that when I pull myself back into line Kate and Hunter are willing to play a new geography game with me.
I discipline myself to think in this pattern because I know it follows the word of God. And I am less tearful than when I began to type.
Raw Raw Raw is how I feel........Thankful every day is what I choose.