Wednesday, September 7, 2011

There Are Things To Be Thankful For

Everyday, some part of every day, I cry.  That may sound terrible to you.  But it is not.

There is pressure on every side.  Will my children emerge from this unscathed?  No, the death of their father will forever mark them.  Will I make it through this intense grief?  I have every confidence that God will continue to travel me through this time period and that I will learn much and that He will use what I learn to comfort others in years to come.

What is my job right now?  That is confusing but it is where the crying everyday comes in.  Someone just today told me that my grief was oh so legitimate.  I want to share her encouraging words with you because they were so meaningful to me.

You are doing so well and are such a blessing to all you have shared
your journey with so far.  Please know that even those of us who don't
communicate too much are thinking of you and praying for you.  Also know
that it is OK not to be in the "healing" stage yet.  Our society puts
too much pressure on people to "hurry up and get on with the healing
process".  That's crap.  You need to grieve.  Grief is not self pity.
Grief is the real acknowledgement that what you have lost (regardless of
what Gene has gained) was real and matters.

So I feel okay with this difficult journey.  I really thought I would sail through.  After all I have "done" death so many times before.....ha!  NEVER have I been through this.  I cry in the dentist office, I cry in the chiropractors office, I cry in the car, I cry on the beach [and that was just today!]  But I am okay, I am grieving and I am doing the things I must do and I am not doing the things that are too hard.

thanks "ME" [that's my friend's signature]  for the warm and encouraging words

It is a part of the whole process.


Robin's Developments said...

Two thumbs up my dear friend. You are doing what you need to do. I love you, but God loves you more! I continue to pray for you in this journey.

Frances said...

Joanie, it's so hard for me to imagine there is anyone who would not understand your tears. I think there will be tears for a long, long time. And that doesn't mean there won't also be healing. Often, the two go hand in hand.

I follow a blog by a woman named Ann Voskamp. A couple of days ago, I thought of you as I read her daily encouraging words. Here are a few lines from that posting:

"So ends come, and beginnings, too. They always come together, those two -- like friends trusting each other. Something ends and something begins and I'm missing you already. And I'm wistful for what's behind and what could have been and I have never traveled this road that lies ahead. Some days I am even brave enough to say that I am scared -- I wonder if bends in the roads can break things.

But I keep turning back to this, me on an axis of my own: CHRIST WINS. Roads can twist and what untwists me is just that: Christ wins. I can fall and all hope can fall and the day can skin its shins hard and this is a startling fallen world -- but what can trip peace when I know Christ wins?"
(Ann Voskamp ... Holy Experience)

Thank you for sharing the words of encouragement from your friend. It's so precious when He speaks to us through others who care.