Today I joined in the corporate worship of the saints. All believers in Messiah are called saints, and there is something special in joining together to sing praises to our God.
Before worship I was in my closet and I heard the Lord speak....
"It is what it is", He said. I cried.
We started off with The Joy of the Lord is my Strength! How appropriate! The joy in knowing God is seeing me through, the joy in knowing He will be enough to see me through, but also that he is surrounding me with so much support and comfort. My joy in Him is the strength that will walk with me every hour and every day and every week and beyond. I cried. I struggled to sing truth.
I trust my Savior. I had victory that I could sing about the the true nature of strength. It isn't something we have to manufacture, we do not have to fake this joy, it is there because He is my strength. I am not required to bring any with me or to make any up, He supplies.
But I know truth when I hear it and it is what it is. Gene has victory, I have solace, Gene is not grieving, nor worried about earthly things, our children are learning great and mighty things that will only add to their maturity. The body of Christ is functioning as it should and this time I am receiving. There have been times in the past when I have given and there will be times in the future when that will be my place again. I am not sure I will ever give in the same way though, because I have learned so much in this season. May I be found faithful to hear and to give in just the right way when it is my turn again. That is my prayer.
Once again the comfort is there knowing that time is no mystery to God but neither is it a heavenly concept. Time belongs to the earth and it is convenient to mankind to use, but it is not a God thing. The key is in thanking God for the opportunity to draw close to him. To choose to stay close and look for the blessings, not get caught in the grief and be blinded by the sorrow.
Kate has a little dog, named Ali [say: Al....eye] When Kate is away from home, Ali is being a wonderful teacher and an example of us and God. He follows me everywhere I go, laundry room, mailbox, even the bathroom if I let him! He is not content to rest in his open comfy bed all the way across the room. He wants to be as close to my toes as he possibly can be, under the computer desk or in my lap or at least beside my chair! If I stay as close to God as Ali is staying to me I will have so many opportunities to hear his voice, feel his heartbeat and travel with Him wherever He takes me.
So I choose, through tears, and little things that catch me unawares and sweeten my grief and hard times when I think I cannot breathe to give thanks and to do it.....every day.......multiple times a day!
Here is a fun thing I thought of just today: and do not ask me why I never thought of it before cause others might have but I never did!
Gene's full name ...............Gene [4 letters] Gordy [5 letters] Adkins [6 letters]
My full name [before].........Joan [4 letters] Ellen [ 5 letters] Murphy [6 letters]
4-5-6 and the same! And people often mixed us up and called us Genie and Joan but I never thought of the letters thing! We were only married for 26 1/2 years ...there is so much to learn about each other! Why did God bring that to my awareness today?............... Little things to sweeten the grief.....I give thanks!